HEART TO HEART with Diane Warner

Diane Warner, a nationally known wedding consultant and prolific author of popular wedding books, has prepared a fantastic wedding primer specifically for Wedding Links in the form of six articles.

We are proud to offer these feature articles about the whirlwind experience called "getting married." This is her 6th installment in the series, titled "Choosing Your Wedding Edibles."

To preview or purchase Diane's books, visit her Web site.

he cost of your reception food, drink and wait staff, plus the reception site fee itself, will account for approximately fifty percent of your total wedding budget, which is why it's important to give this subject a lot of thought before booking a site or a caterer.

As you may recall when we talked about selecting your reception site, you should choose one that suits the formality of your wedding, your wedding theme, the type of food you want to serve and, most importantly, your wedding budget.

Basically, you have these four choices:

Plan a "Venue Wedding" (see my article entitled "Choosing Your Ceremony and Reception Sites) where everything is included in one package price, such as the services of the ceremony officiant, the photography, flowers, food, cake, etc. These total package prices will usually range from $40 to $150 per person, depending on the venue. (Also, see my upcoming book entitled "Picture-Perfect, Worry-Free Weddings".)
Book a site, such as a hotel, restaurant, country club or banquet hall, that includes the site fee, wedding edibles and the services of their staff as part of one package price. These package prices vary considerably, so be sure to shop around and compare. (You'll be lucky if you can keep your total per-person price under $25.)
Book a more affordable site, such as an historical building, a state, city, county or university facility, a private garden, mansion, clubhouse, or a reception hall connected to your church, where you are allowed to furnish your own food, drink and wait staff (or hire an affordable outside caterer.) Your per-person price will usually range from $8 to $22 per person, depending on the site fee and whether or not you hire a caterer.
Plan an informal reception, such as a picnic in a park or a barbecue in your backyard, where there is no fee for the site and where you have complete control of the menu. This will usually run you between $5 and $15 per person, depending on whether you serve hot dogs or steaks!

In any case, whether professionally prepared or not, here are a few of the most affordable wedding edibles for you to consider:

* Simple Cake and Punch Reception

You can get away with this if it is held mid morning, mid afternoon, or after an evening wedding -- just so it doesn't overlap a normal mealtime. Of course, you can always add mints, nuts and a few trays of cookies, if you'd like. If you decide to serve this simple fare, be sure to add this line to your wedding invitation: "Cake and Punch Reception Following Ceremony." This will let the guests know that they should not expect a meal -- which is fine!

* A Tea Reception

A tea reception is usually held between 2 and 4 p.m. and includes tea (or coffee) and an assortment of lovely British "dainties," such as tea sandwiches (with the crusts cut off), tarts, scones and pastry puffs. This can be a very affordable menu, especially if you prepare the food yourself. Add this to your wedding invitation: "Tea Reception Following Ceremony."

* Salad Reception

This is another affordable idea, especially if several family members can help out by contributing one or two salads a piece. Provide a wide variety, ranging from pasta salads, to potato, coleslaw, fresh fruits, tossed green or gelatin and fruit, along with a selection of dressings, plus baskets of Parker House rolls. This is a perfect solution if you're getting married late morning, because it will provide a salad luncheon which is less expensive than a sit-down meal or a regular luncheon buffet that includes meat. Add this to your wedding invitation: "Salad Reception Following Ceremony."

* Hors d'Ouevres Reception

This type of reception (also called a "Finger Food Reception") can feature light fare, such as chips and dips, raw vegetable or fruit platters, various cheeses and crackers, etc., or you may serve food that is a little more filling, such as chicken wings, egg rolls, meat trays, shrimp cocktail, oysters on the half shell, broiled cocktail sausages or ham and cream cheese rolls. This type of reception is suitable anytime between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. or after an evening wedding. Add this to your wedding invitation: "Light Hors d'Ouevres Reception Following Ceremony" or "Hors d'Ouevres Reception Following Ceremony," depending on whether or not you will be serving meat.

*Dessert Reception

Whether you and your family prepare the desserts or you purchase them from a bakery, this is still an affordable option. Serve a large variety of desserts, such as pies, cobblers, cookies, brownies, pastries, or do-it-yourself sundaes. A dessert reception is suitable from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. or after an evening wedding. Add this to your wedding invitation: "Dessert Reception Following Ceremony."

In addition to the food, of course, you'll need to serve wedding cake and beverages. Champagne usually starts at about $12 a bottle (unless you purchase it yourself by the case), and an open bar will run that much or more per person. One way to cut down on the cost of the alcoholic beverages is to set a limit of two glasses of champagne per person, serving it only during the wedding toasts. Another option is to provide two punch bowls -- one "virgin" and one "spiked" with champagne.

When it comes to your wedding cake, expect to pay at least $3 per person if you order it from a bakery, or $4 or more per person (plus "cake service" of $1 per person) if ordering as part of your reception package at your site. Affordable alternatives are to:

* Assemble a dummy wedding cake (made out of Styrofoam layers) for "show," but serve the guests from sheet cakes out of the kitchen (there are free dummy wedding cake instructions at my web site: www.dianewarnerbooks.com).

* Have your wedding cake prepared by a private party who bakes them in her own home.

* Purchase your wedding cake from your supermarket bakery where the prices average about $1 per serving.

* Order a small wedding cake, plus a few sheet cakes, from a professional bakery.

Finally, when it comes to your reception food and drink, my best advice is for you to take everything into consideration before you book your site or order your food. You never know, you may even decide to change the time of your ceremony so the reception "just happens" to fall during an "affordable feeding time."

In any case, good luck to you as you make your plans. I hope your wedding is special and memorable in every way -- I know it will be!

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